Culture Shock - Leave Korea or Stay?

The chances are that every foreigner who has visited this country would have passed such comment, some more than others.

When you leave your home culture you separate yourself from all those things that have defined your role in society. - how to shop, when to queue and when not to, the food to expect at a ball game and how to speak to the bus driver.

You suddenly find yourself immersed in a place where very little is familiar, and while this may be exhilarating for a short time the travel novelty soon dissipates, sometimes even disintegrates in one bewildering episode.

All the familiar props - symbols, gestures, customs and norms - that you have come to know and react to are no longer there, replaced instead by another culture's weird ways, which you have to figure out.

You are in the grips of 'Culture Shock', an emotional reaction that follows from not being able to understand, control, and predict how others behave and how to respond to them.

Physically, you find yourself deeply lacking in social skills and knowledge necessary to deal with a new environment, and you either deal with this or leave.

Not only does culture shock affect individuals but it is "the critical factor for success in today's global business environment," according to Elisabeth Marx, author of Breaking through Culture Shock: What You Need to Succeed International Business.

For any foreigner who is in Korea for an extended period or on business, culture shock is an animal that must be dealt with if the experience is to be rewarding and successful. To to this you have to be able to recognize it and understand it.

Typically, the phenomenon does not occur with a bang, but proceeds through a number of phases such as the ones below.

Honeymoon/Romance: This phase is typified by exhilaration of discovery and the zest to explore further. It is the stage that can be seen in tourists or ephemeral travelers - usually happy, excited and with positive perceptions.

Disintegration: This is the stage that most people associate with the phrase 'culture shock'. Once the freshness wears off the Korean culture begins to impact significantly on your life. Koreans cannot understand why you have troubles, what is wrong with raw fish, or 'hapsung', or air-conditioning that is switched off at nights. You will be confused, frustrated, depressed and you may withdraw, especially into your home environment.

Progressively you will begin to disregard both similarities and the differences between Korean culture and your home culture. You may be hostile, refuse to communicate in Korean, blame Korea for your misfortunes, reject of all that Korean culture represents, and spend a lot of time in the company of compatriots doing so.

From here you can go one of two ways. You can choose to enter a depressive tailspin which will see you bolt, dig in and see out your contract then leave, or end up in hospital. On the other hand you may choose to try and adapt to Korea.

Adaptation: If you choose the latter and you succeed you'll start to view Korea more impartially, not get as annoyed with the having to get coffee in tiny little cups, and you'll begin to get out and mix with Korean people. You may still think you are better than them but things will begin to look funny rather than annoying.

Adjustment: If you stick at it long enough, learn the language, make Korean friends and start to live the way Koreans do you will become adjusted. You will have a bi-cultural or multicultural identity and a sense of belonging, trust, and sensitivity to the Korean culture.

Knowing what to expect doesn't necessarily mean you can do it. Some people are just not suited to living in an alien culture, their strengths lie elsewhere. Nevertheless, once you know what is happening to you it is time to take the next step, to do something about it.

Enroll in a language class, go to the local store and try out your rudimentary hangul, meet some more Koreans, try just 'hanging out' with them.

This is all easier said than done and it is more convenient to socialize with other foreigners where communication is easy and the norms are familiar. Doing this is also a good way to ensure that you remain in culture shock.

So now I'm off to practice what I preach - off to do some shopping and play silly games with the attendant that insists on following me around the store.