Caregiver Feelings

First, I would like to thank you for visiting this specific article. It is so important for caregivers to become aware that caregivers may have feelings due to their difficult role and to know that these feels are quite normal. If you haven't already read the previous article, Caregiver Roles, please do as this article is the "aftermath" of these roles.

Caregivers do so much for their loved ones. Some of the tasks include, bathing, dressing, cleaning, shopping, the list goes on. Caregiversrs come in all ages, male or female, all income levels. Some caregivers are automatically put in the caregiver role. This can be seen in the child who is now caring for their parent.

Below, I have listed 10 feelings common to caregivers. All of these are normal. Often, caregivers will not speak out out of embarrassment for having these feelings. But, it is important for us to know these feelings and to ensure others that it is a normal part of caregiving.

1. Helplessness

Caregivers may feel helpless because of their loved one's condition. They cannot change the illness or they cannot make things better. Caregivers often give all they have to help those they love, but yet they still may feel that what they are doing is not enough.

It is important for caregivers to realize that by doing the best they can is indeed helping their loved ones. They cannot possibly change the events that have taken place, but can learn to work with them.

2. Anger

Caregivers may feel anger, but it is not necessarily directed at their loved one. Instead, it is at the situation that they are now put in. This is very common and if we look at all that caregivers have to go through, it is quite understandable that anger is a natural feeling for a Caregiver. Caregivers often have to give up some of their lives in order to care for their loved ones. This can be seen in the child who is now caring for a parent. These caregivers have their own families and now they have to split the time between their family and their parent. I have seen caregivers who have had to quit their jobs in order to care for their loved ones.

3. Denial

Caregivers may be in denial about their current role. "I will only have to care for mom for a few days" or "Dad's illness will go away soon." Also, they may be in denial about their feelings in fear of what others may think.

4. Overwhelmed

Caregivers may feel overwhelmed by the many tasks they performCaregiversd day out. Caregivers may express these feelings by saying, "I just can't do it anymore," "There isn't enough time in the day to get everything done," or "I am run down."

5. Embarrassment

Caregivers may feel embarrassed by a certain behaviour their loved one may be expressing. This can especially be seen in loved ones with a dementing illness such as Alzheimer's. It is okay to feel embarrassed. But, also know that your loved one is not doing this behaviour to intentionally embarrass you.

6. Regret

Caregivers may feel regret. "If I had only done this," or "What if I had said this instead of that?" It is human nature to have regrets. If we look back on our lives, I am sure we can all come up with different scenarios on situations we were in. That is why it is important to know that we do the best we can with what we are given. We cannot change things we have done in the past, we can only make things different from this point on. Caregivers.

7. Isolation

Caregivers may feel like they are the only ones that can help theircaregiveres. Although they are the caregiver, it is crucial to become aware of programs in the community to help with the caregiving role. You do not have to be alone. For those fortunate enough to have family and friends that will help, accept the help. For those who do not have family and friends, look to the community.

8. Frustrated

Caregivers may feel frustrated with the caregiving role, especially if the caregiver is the only one providing care for their loved one, frustrated for feeling frusturated, and frusturated for not being able to make things as they were.

9. Worry

Caregivers worry about their loved ones. "Is this the right decision?" "Is there anything else I should be doing?"

10. Guilt

Caregivers may feel guilty because of having some or all of these feelings. They may feel guilty for feeling like they haven't done enough for their loved ones.

CAREGIVER RIGHTS

As a caregiver...

"I have the right to ask for help when needed. I should not feel guilty about not being able to do it on my own. I can ask family members for assistance."

"I have the right to seek help outside of my family. If I am unhappy with a program, I can remove my loved one."

"I have the right to feel emotion. I may be depressed one day, but happy the next. I may cry today, but laugh tomorrow."

"I have the right to enjoyment. This does not mean that I am not looking after my loved one. It means I need a break, so that I can better care for myslef and for my loved one."

"I have the right to find humour in situations. This does not mean that I am laughing at my loved one. It means I am making light of the situation."

"I have the right to provide in-home care for my loved one for as long as possible. I can make changes at any time, so that my loved one can receive quality care."

"I have the right to commend myself for this caregiving role. I am doing the best that I can."

"I have the right to vent my frustrations. There is nothing wrong with joining support groups or seeking help from counselors."

...I have the right to be me.