The Desperation Point: Suicide of Teens and Young Adults
Nov 6, 2001 -
© Mary Robbins
These statistics probably do not surprise you. You may know someone who has committed suicide, or you may have a friend or relative who you have seen go through the grief of loosing a young person to suicide. This age group in particular seems to be the most disturbing. Often we find ourselves asking, "Why would someone so young with so much potential end their lives?" The focus of what I plan to discuss revolves around something I call the desperation point. This is what causes the actual act of committing suicide.
The desperation point may happen without any warning, or it may take decades to arrive at. There are many ways to create this intense desperation. The key thing to remember with this theory is that most likely for someone to commit suicide, they must be at a mental point of instability...that is to say that the young person becomes desperate for whatever myriad of reasons in their life and either attempts or succeeds in the act of ending their own life. Some form of depression and/or other mental disorders seem to be present in people who commit/attempt suicide.
Some occurrences that would cause instant desperation could include: a loss of a loved one, a drastic change of some type in the life of the young person, coming-out of the closet to parents who do not accept the lifestyle, being diagnosed with a terminal illness, sexual assault, disapproval of some life-choice by someone who the individual is co-dependant upon, etc. Desperation point caused by longer issues could include: chronic pain, downward spiral of depression, being trapped in an addiction and feeling that there is "no way out" except for suicide, etc.
When discussing suicide, methods of achieving the aim are also full of questions. Why do some succeed and some fail? Why do others choose one method and some another? What makes an attempt successful? Some of the most common methods for attempting suicide are firearm to the head, taking some form of pills, jumping off of bridges or buildings, and slitting the wrists. It is common sense to see that a firearm to the head would be more successful perhaps than jumping, taking pills, or slitting the wrists. However it is not certain that any form will do the job "correctly" and not leave the person severely damaged, and still alive. People who succeed in suicide have often attempted before. "...Evidence indicates that for every suicide, they are 50 to 100 attempts at suicide..."
What are the differences in method between men and women? Men tend to be more likely to use firearms, and women are more likely to slit the wrists or to overdose on pills. This does not mean that this is the case in every scenario with every young person. Some plan their demise in stages, and others just jump into the act without thinking out the consequences or whether the attempt will actually be successful at all. When the desperation point arrives, all that matters is "getting out" and ending their "meaningless" life. Not many who attempt suicide on the spur of the moment have time to stop and think about what will happen to those left behind.
Cynicism in our young generation has grown. Music, television, and movies...have raised suicide issues during the past few decades. In the movie Pump up the Volume suicide is a major theme, as well as in an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that aired in 1999. The lead singer of the rock group INXS, Michael Hutchence, committed suicide. And most notably in the music world, the suicide of Kurt Cobain (Lead singer of the grunge-rock band Nirvana) in 1993, made a large gaping wound in the lives of many young adults who could relate to his sullen, often depressed and angry lyrics. Depression-centered music has become very popular in the 90's and even to the present day. Young people that feel depressed, cynical, and perhaps a little suicidal are drawn to these bands that discuss the same feelings. It is a type of release and validation for the minds that have not found a reason to keep going. The music itself can be a reason to hold on. Some older adults feel that this "depressed music" is what leads to the suicide, but I disagree in this area. I feel that suicide will be done, with or without depressing music, if the person has it in his or her mind.
Does talking about suicide make someone suicidal? I do not feel that talking about suicide makes a person "do it", however, there is reason to take heed if a person talks about suicide all the time. They could possibly be trying to ask for help without actually saying the words aloud. Discussion of suicide should be allowable to validate the young-person's feelings. Dwelling in the dark places of the mind can be dangerous if it lasts for too long. There is a fine line between living in suicidal thoughts and the desperation point.
How can suicide be prevented? Most importantly is perhaps the support system that the young person has. Counseling for young people, especially after a classmate has succeeded in the act of suicide, is one way to lower the risk of additional suicides. The number of suicides has been linked with one of the group committing suicide first. The others seem to follow in a sort of copy-cat type of scenario. The most important support system is having faith in some "higher power". Life sometimes is unbearable, and with a "higher power" there for support, things can be manageable. Also in church or other religious groups, the fellowship atmosphere can decrease the loneliness that is so often one of the factors in suicide. The youth is assured that he or she is not alone in the world.
The following information on talking to suicidal teens was taken from a website entitled "Teenage Depression and prevention of teenage suicide". The link to this helpful website is included in the resource list I have placed at the end of this article:
Basic Elements To Consider When Addressing A Suicidal Young Person:
1. One does not encourage a young person by talking about the issue. Don't fear addressing it.
2. Suicidal tendencies are not inherited. Some young people will fear that possibility.
3. If the suicidal student makes improvement, the suicide risk is decreased, but can still exist.
4. There is no such thing as "a lost cause" when someone is suicidal.
5. Never assume that talk of suicide is simply a manipulation for attention. What if you are wrong?
6. If the suicidal person is in counseling or therapy, don't assume they are safe from suicide.
7. Suicide never just comes "out of the blue." There are always personal reasons for the feelings.
8. Just because a person is suicidal doesn't mean suicide will always be an option.
9. Having previously failed an attempted suicide doesn't protect someone from another attempt.
The following are some websites that may be of use to those interested in learning more about teen and young adult suicide and preventative measures:
Teenage Depression and prevention of teenage suicide: http://www.1-teenage-suicide.com/index.html
National Suicide Prevention Directory [listings in each state of the US of places and numbers to call for help with suicidal family and friends]:
http://www.darkmother.com/nspd.html
Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program:
www.yellowribbon.org
Youth Suicide Prevention A Parents Guide (The scout association of Australia):
http://www.childsafe.net.au/SCOUTS/scysp1.html#fact
Copyright 2001 by Mary J. Robbins. All rights reserved. Copying or distribution via linking, mailing list, disk, or any other form is prohibited under Copyright Law without express written permission of the author.
Author's BIO: Mary Robbins lives and works in the central United States. She writes fictional stories, poetry, and informative articles in her spare time. Questions or Comments? Email her at: peaceandlove99@hotmail.com
The copyright of the article The Desperation Point: Suicide of Teens and Young Adults in Death & Dying is owned by Mary Robbins. Permission to republish The Desperation Point: Suicide of Teens and Young Adults in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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