The Spaghetti Tree

You are undoubtedly interested in modern technology? The changes that happen in our modern world are axiomatically reflected in our everyday habits, don't you agree?.

Well, read on for the true facts on developing a new style of delivering food to your table.

Many years ago scientists came up with the idea of growing spaghetti on trees. This was as a result from a lot of pressure put upon the Government by a large population which consumes trillions of pieces of spaghetti annually. One of the reasons behind this was the ever-spiralling cost of spaghetti in the supermarkets. Another reason was that because there are now more city folk than country folk consumers of spaghetti, (Government Bureau of Statistics Census figures) there was a tendency to want an easier way to get spaghetti. What easier way than to have it growing outside your own backdoor!

A group of renowned scientists were employed to solve this problem and create for the Government an impression that they were doing something for the people (a first!).

Where to start looking?

In our modern technology where it is so easy to extract DNA particles out of objects (look at how easy the dinosaurs were cloned for Jurassic Park), scientists looked at various types of spaghetti to find which variety would be easier to clone. It was decided that, after extensive investigation (sending teams of specialists overseas), that the Northern Italian variety was the most congenial to extracting DNA. But what could this DNA be cloned with and what was the best way to produce an environmental friendly spaghetti tree?

After extensive research it was proven that the best partner in this operation was the Catkin Tree. Other trees were tried and found not to be compatible. For example the Olive tree was trialed - it grew too large and was found not suitable - as well, this mix with the Olive made the spaghetti far too greasy.

Another idea was tested with sweet corn. Although the taste was superb, the spaghetti exploded when heated (just like popcorn) and caused frantic confusion in many kitchens.

Eventually the chosen Catkin Tree was deemed suitable because of its habit of growing long catkins, which hung down from the branches. The spaghetti DNA was merged into the Catkin trees genes and was ideal.

Another problem was to ensure that the type of spaghetti grown was No.1 al dente as this was the most popular in the world, used in all households. Also, the tree had to be fairly low growing so as not to intimidate the smaller-built people and to allow easy picking. This would ensure that parents could send the kids out to the tree without much chance of them coming back empty-handed.

One of the problems that came from all this was the dreaded Spaghetti Tree beetle, which had never been encountered before, but I suppose that was because the trees weren't invented yet. (Obvious conclusion when you think about it). They were ground- dwelling beetles which couldn't climb but actually jumped up, grabbed hold of the fully-matured no. 1 al dente spaghetti, pulled itself up and made the hole in the centre larger, so that it was no longer No.1. This was unforgivable and certainly unacceptable.

A real dilemma!!

But a brilliant young man who started out as a rocket scientist working for the Alaskan Government. eventually found a way to shorten their long legs which they used so that they couldn't jump up and reach the spaghetti. He did this by crossing them with a fairly unobtrusive bed mite.

No longer could they jump -they were now resigned to the fact that they could only crawl. However, another problem arose with the new-style beetle - you could now no longer eat your spaghetti in bed as the beetles discovered they could crawl into the beds (a throwback to the crossed bed bugs) and ate it out of the plates. Unfortunately there is no answer to this problem at this stage.

The young rocket scientist was given a Knighthood by the government for his reward but not much else.

Anyway, as you all know that's history now, as this Spaghetti Tree has been on the market for many years, giving pleasurable gourmet delight to trillions of consumers.

No doubt you have one growing at your place?

Don't forget to manure your Spaghetti Tree.

Now, that's another story

Anyway, here's a good menu for you to try: "http://www.servcom.com.au/pronto.pasta/m..."

Have a Happy April 1st!