Living With Roommates - Page: 2

When I rented an apartment for the first time, I shared an apartment with two sets of roommates. Despite a few minor problems, my experience with roommates was positive. I was lucky. Other renters I knew were not so fortunate.

Having a roommate can either be a blessing or a nightmare. We mostly hear about the "roommate from hell" horror stories, which only encourage renters to avoid roommates. But as I can tell you from my personal experience, having roommates can be a life-enhancing experience in terms of expanding your social network and enriching your relationships.

In this column, I'll discuss some of the issues you may want to consider when deciding to live with a roommate. I'll conclude with a few additional resources you can find on the Internet.

Weighing the Pros and Cons

If you are wondering whether sharing an apartment is right for you, here are a few issues to consider:

1) Compatibility - Much of the success of a roommate relationship depends on the individuals involved. Are you the shy, introverted type who prefers quiet activities at home, or are you outgoing with lots of frinds and an active social life so you are not home often? Are you an easy-going person who takes things in stride, or are you a perfectionst with very particular needs about your living arrangement? Ideally, you want to find a roommate whose needs and temperament are compatible with your own.

2) Privacy - If you are a private person, be prepared to sacrifice some of your private time with another person in the apartment. You may need to set some ground rules about when your roommate can interrupt your private time. If you prefer your privacy more than anything else, then you are much better off on your own.

3) Trust - Trust plays an important role in every relationship. Even if your roommate is someone you know, your relationship with them will change once they become your roommate. Once they move in with you, your roommate will have access to your personal belongings, wardrobe, furniture, computer equipment and other valuables. Make sure you are able to trust the person with whom you share the apartment. If you are overly protective of your belongings or have a hard time trusting people, then you are better off without a roommate.

4) Responsibility - One of the biggest conflicts in roommate relationships occur over housekeeping duties. No matter how you split the responsibilities, one roommate tends to feel that he or she takes on more of the housekeeping chores than the other person. This is an issue that needs to be discussed up front before either of you sign a lease agreement. Ideally, you want to find a roommate who has a healthy, equitable attitude toward housework. One suggestion for working things out is to set up a housekepping schedule and switch chores every week so the two of you are not doing the same chores all the time.

5) Money - Money can be a sticky issue. One person may have a steady income while the other is a student or does not have a regular job. It can create some conflict in the relationship when the person without the steady income feels entitled to "skip" his share of the rent payment thus leaving you to pay the entire amount. Make sure your potential roommate has a steady source of income or a healthy bank account. You might also ask them how they will be able to pay rent in the event they lose their job. Likewise, you should share with them your own contingency plan if you are unable to fulfill your obligations.

6) Issues such as smoking, drugs, alcohol, noise, pets, and overnight guests can ruin even the best roommate relationships. Determine what you are willing to tolerate. When you interview your prospective roommate, even if you know them already, ask about their lifestyle habits. Remember that both of your names appear on the lease agreement so both of you are responsible for paying rent on time, following building rules, and maintaining the apartment. It's in the best interest of all parties to clarify what will be acceptable behavior in your apartment.

More Information about Roommates

You'll find numerous resources on the Internet for finding and living with roommates. For example, Roommates.com and Simply Roommates and Sublets are two popular sites. Many of the apartment locator sites, such as Apartments.com and ForRent.com will have links to roommates' info.

In addition, check out Saferoommates.com, where you can request background checks on potential roommates. Many of these sites will have sample questions you can ask when interviewing potential roommates.

Living with a roommate can be a rewarding experience. Many people have developed solid, long-lasting friendships as a result of their roommate relationships. But do your homework. Be honest with yourself about what you want in a roommate, and be clear about what you expect from them. The roommate experience can be one of the best you'll have as a renter.